Just A Small Town Girl...

I bet you knew which song I was implying there. The forlorn vocals and searching lyrics filling your mind for a moment, turning your head into a radio. Or not. Makes things easier in this post if you just go along with whatever I say. :)

It's been a while. Pull up a chair. I'll catch you up:

If you missed the reference, I'm the small town girl who has jumped in the huge pond of Seattle. Headfirst, it feels like. Off of the really high diving board. I love it! Most of the time. I'm surrounded by very talented people, who are very kind to me. I'm pretty damn lucky, actually. 

But what followed me to the city is this sense of ineptitude. The talent pool is stunning around here! And so intricate, with the many social tide pools and gossip eddies. (had to continue that analogy).

And people are BEAUTIFUL around here. Tall, and chiseled, and well-groomed (most of the time). Even the women. This is not hyperbole, there must be something in the water, I swear. And while I like myself very much, and I think I look nice (in an odd sort of way) I feel...like such...an outsider...

Today at the script reading for a movie I just FELL into, I was at this table of GORGEOUS people. And in my mind it's middle school and instead of sitting with my two good friends at a table, far away from the table that held the god-like beauty of the elite, and I have crossed the enemy lines and find myself at THEIR table. With my roughly built mask, focusing on hiding the tremble in my voice.

So what it boils down to, is that I am 25 (on my way to 26, oh God), feeling like a 17 year old, looking like a 40 year old and feeling physically like I'm 80 (thanks returning sciatic pain!) 

When I take the mean of those ages, I'm 40.
Yeah, sounds about right.



Comments

  1. The VikingBunnyJune 7, 2013 at 2:47 PM

    Ok I obviously missed this post's original..well..erm..posting... (oiy, jetlag)

    However, as a former Satellite and uni-mate of yours I wanted to point out that Seattle is about UNIQUE, which, my dear, you certainly are. I easily see you as one more of those beautiful and intriguing people that confidently stroll along the streets of the Hill/the U-District/Fremont on their way to one of those 'secret' (or so the non-locals seem to perceive them) artistic meetings in some lush eco-urban enclave that everyone yearns to be in-the-know about.

    It may take a few months for you to feel internally that you own this city, but you as your exotic self have already came and conquered. Just wait, you'll see. ;o)

    Hugs from Down Under my dear!

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