Meanwhile, I Keep Dancing

Day18: The Lovers Taken from page 239 from Tarot Mysteries: Rediscovering the Real Meaning of the Cards by Jonathan Dee.  I enjoyed reading about this card. Some things it said about The Lovers is that it's symbol is fire and zodiac sign associated with it is Gemini. I really connect to that, as a gemini. It also talks about paths being taken, one path of comfort and familiarity, the other one of surprise and exploration. The Volcano Speaks Don't talk to me of love my heart is too cracked to hold that liquor seeping out spilling on the floor And as an emotionally well balanced adult I'm expected rag in hand smile on face to wipe it all away whistling ready for life's next love but I'm not I'm a siege weapon of bile prickly and thorned achingly tired of kissing that frog and that frog expecting a gold star or a prince or a pat on the back good girl So don't talk to me of love not right now ...

Day 5: Daughters This word was taken from my friends book, The Baron Would be Proud by Mike Jack Stoumbos, pg. 161 My Daughters I collect my thoughts these days and press them into journals bend them with wire and found beach glass store them in boxes I save these lessons learned in tissue paper and class bottles I save these memories for my daughters to bring out, hold treasured in cupped hands whisper their stories by dim lamp light and soft blankets I will pull back my sleeves and show old scars my stories of love and pain sing them songs of chances taken and adventures sought fairy tales to teach this new generation that they do not need to be saved by the prince nor do they need to do the saving but rather are guardians of their own souls and need only save themselves

Day 3: Montanto Taken from The Globe Illustrated Much Ado About Nothing, p. 696. Apparently this is a term borrowed from the Italian schools of fencing, specifically a thrust. My Move Forward, parry thrust thrust retreat  we play this game of give and take messager or text the munstrum of our desire hoping that our last words were vocative enough to elicit more wish that the words we conjure will not fall into the cracks of the internet Void I fight my culture that tells me I should not make the first move I banish shame as I type out a message, not too pushy, not too much  just enough to catch your eye watch my rapier wit fly Like Beatrice who uses words to create a wall, to be herself and hold off the pain of expectation  I want to love but at this point in my life  will fight for my heart if you want it you must match me wit to wit skill to skill ...

Pretty straightforward, right? I would like to say that what I want most right now is to finish school, to find a good job, to go to Ghana even. I would like to say that what I want most is to create something amazing. Or have an adventure. Or have a really awesome night on the town (though, that sounds rather tempting...) But it all comes down to love, doesn't it? And finding the person that fits you, right? Anyway, I don't want this to be sappy. I know, as an only child, I need to work on my ability to be okay by myself. It's alright to be alone. Tanya Davis has a wonderful poem called How to Be Alone , something I stole from another blogger. Read it. It's fantastic. And really, it's when you can find solace and contentment with yourself, that moment when you are open to the world (but not grasping at it) when love happens. At least, I hope that's how it works. So far my old techniques have not been working. Like forcing my email on a guy I'v...

I'm a fan of strong women in my fairy tales, which is hard to find since most of the women are princess' under spells, or they are a grand prize after the hero vanquishes the monster or completes the quest. There are a few that really stuck with me. Especially the Scandinavian folktale The Prince Lindworm . The story goes like this; a Queen wants a child, and she is told that if she eats two onions she will have twin sons. She does so, but the first onion she is so greedy to eat that she doesn't remove the outside skin. Soon she gives birth to two sons, but the first born was a monster, half snake and half boy. The boys grow up, and the second born prince wants to get married. But his terror of an older brother won't let him until he gets married first. Course, no one wants to marry a half-man half-snake creature who keeps eating his prospective brides. Finally, a peasant girl comes forward and volunteers to marry the elder brother. She goes to him, wearing all of ...

The word that you are thinking this represents is not so easily deduced. :-) I love words, so picking one was a struggle. I've always liked whimsy, but I overuse it. I was looking through Google at "beautiful words" waiting for one to strike me and give me an idea. But none of them seemed quite right. Then I remembered this one word, which a good friend, who I love dearly, once tricked me into believing meant something else. The word was afton , and he told me that it was the softy, dreamy fuzz seeds that puff off of a dandelion. This description I fell in love with. Sadly, Afton actually is the name of a river in Scotland, which is nice, but does not live up to the romantic attachment I had with the first definition. And why am I picking a word that I'm changing the definition to? Because afton will always mean dandelion wishes to me.  P.S. Dandelions are my favorite flower