April is for Poetry: NaPoWriMo

National Poetry Writing Month
April 1st 2020


Getting back onto this old blogging website, I'm really impressed by the amount of writing I have here! The feelings are similar to going into the attic, discovering a dusty box that looks odd and very very familiar, and then opening it to treasured memories. 

How exciting that I get to use this same box for the next writing challenge!

For myself opening this box again in the future, this is a time of such uncertainty, fear, and worry. It is also a time of great love and solidarity between humans, strangers, for our whole nation.  It is a time of creativity.  This virus, COVID-19, will not beat us. 

So on that note, onward to the challenge of this month!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 1st 2020
Journey

I started off on a quest to find a sensation
of trees and water and wind
call it a walk, if you want to name it
I like to name things, put them in place, find names for myself to align this light being somewhere in the universe
gemini, only child, artist, storyteller, Obliger, cat lover
put a pin down in the great, ever-blossoming map of this reality

I am here, walking out of my house
to walk up a hill then down
words in my head from two self-help gurus
The 4 Agreements vs The 4 Tendencies
I mingle the concepts, mash them as a stew
weave them as a blanket
tie them end to end
I am all tangled
in questions

am I THIS or THAT?
And what does that MEAN?
I pause and quiet the words as I take in the glory of afternoon light behind spring leaves
soft squishy buds on tree branches
the mineral tang of the air near the water
ah
there I am

Returning, I am different
I traveled so much farther than to Matthews Beach
I delved into thoughts within thoughts within
questioning everything, delighting in the questioning!

When my shoes began to hurt my feet
and I struggled with “barefoot on the pavement?” amid the other walkers of the day
Yes!
Tossing off societal expectations with my boots
enjoying the texture of the sidewalk
which I realize was made to service shoes and wheels
but not feet
into the grass! where mud embraces my toes
I think of children, and how they are told no, put your shoes back on
trained to hamper their feet's insight
oh the wild delight
to say Yes to me
someone new and someone I have always been
Named, and after shedding that Name
reborn
into everything



Ghosts

I tell the cat
I am you, and you are me
and we are both
the universe witnessing itself
and only when we die
and loose this illusion of separation
accept our atoms to mingle with the atoms of the air
and the bedsheetsfloorwindowglassleavestree
then
do we accept the truth

the cat slowly blinks at me
I slowly blink at myself

and then wonder, about ghosts
and why they wail in tormented loneliness
are they energies that never let go of the illusion?

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